The Doll Squad DVD [PAL Format] - Classic Horror for Movie Nights

Amateurish acting, inane dialogue, and excruciatingly thin plot. Horrible editing, extremely poor cinematography, terrible special effects. The Doll Squad is a disaster, a debacle, a fiasco -- a flagrant exercise in ineptitude. One thing that completely annoyed me about the Dolls Squad is that their hair and make-up always look great, even when they're chained up in a locked room -- even after gunplay and martial arts fights with the bad guys. During a particularly "suspenseful" sequence in which Francine York's character (Sabrina) is under extreme pressure to rescue her team members from imminent death, her eye make-up suddenly changes color while her coiffed hair looks better than ever. Apparently the most stressful of situations will not interfere with Sabrina taking a trip to the beauty parlor. I don't understand why other reviewers are characterizing The Doll Squad as a low budget film when obviously no expense was spared on hair and make-up. Even more puzzling is that Sabrina's breast size enlarges as the movie progresses, maybe there's some sort of positive correlation between danger and brassiere cups.Which brings us to the villains. The head villain, this master planner guy, wants to unleash the bubonic plague on the world by having it disseminated by rats -- which make sense scientifically. His motive is to become king of the world, but it doesn't seem to be a scheme that is in the master planner's best interests, nor is it in the best interests of the couple of dozen or so of the planner's associates who will be immunized from the disease. The world would be a hellhole, unless these would-be rulers want to preside over a bunch of rats who are constantly reproducing. The human death toll would be limitless. Economic resources would be meaninglessness. Nobody would exist to produce the luxury goods and services coveted by the master planner and his associates. This master planner guy needs to rethink this thing.And then there's the henchmen, who are these uniformed mercenary types. They are the most inept group of bad guys I have ever seen. On several occasions, they use semi-automatic and automatic weapons to shoot at the Dolls, and even at close range, they still can't kill -- or even injure -- the ladies. The bad guys are horribly inept at physical combat, as well, as the Dolls easily kick their butts. Obviously, these uniformed mercenary types just don't have any respect for professional bad guy standards. They're an embarrassment to the entire bad guy community. Speaking of crime and criminals, the film score is a crime against humanity. The song at the end of the movie, while the credits roll, is absolutely heinous -- Song for Sabrina. The singer should have been prosecuted.The Doll Squad is complete and total GARBAGE. I love it! I'll be watching The Doll Squad multiple times -- without sound. WARNING: The film score is about to be released on vinyl. Avoid like the plague.P.S. I need to mention that Tura Satana has a big role in the movie. That's right -- Tura Satana! Yes! That Tura Satana -- from Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! She's the squad's expert in heavy artillery. This is a role for which she is well suited.